whatisthecat:

ninthdoctorsbutt:

jethrocane:

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS STUFF

I BOUGHT IT

MONTHS AGO

TRIED IT ONCE

I THOUGHT IT WAS HORRIBLE

IT WAS STICKY AND CEMENTED MY LIPS TOGETHER

IT GOT ON EVERYTHING 

IT DIDN’T SUPER-STAY

I THREW IT INTO MY DRAWER WITHOUT ANOTHER THOUGHT

AND THEN OUT OF THE BLUE I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN

HOPE IN MY HEART, PEACE IN MY SOUL, I DECIDED TO TRY IT AGAIN

I READ THE DIRECTIONS

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I SAW THE LIGHT

I COULD SEE CLEARLY NOW, THE RAIN WAS GONE

TURNS OUT

YOU HAVE TO PUT THE RED STUFF ON FIRST

WAIT FOR IT TO DRY

COMPLETELY (I MISSED THIS STEP BEFORE)

IT SHOULD BE SO DRY AND IF YOU KISS THE BACK OF YOUR HAND, NO MARK SHOULD SHOW

AND THEN I PUT THE BALM ON (I ORIGINALLY TRIED PUTTING THE BALM ON FIRST…. DON’T DO THAT.)

AND IT GOT RID OF ALL THE STICKINESS

AND THE RED DOESN’T EVEN GET ALL UP IN THE WHITE BALM

IT WAS A MIRACLE 

THIS STUFF IS THE FUCKING BEST

IT STAYS ON FOR A REALLY LONG TIME

IT DOESN’T GET ON ANYTHING

AMAZING I WANT TO BUY THIS IN FORTY SHADES OKAY I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO TRY IT

NO BUT DO KEEP IN MIND THAT IT REALLY DOES STAY ON FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME

AS IN, LONG ENOUGH TO FORCE YOU TO SCRUB IT OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY

THIS STUFF ISN’T FOR THE WEAK, THIS IS FOR THE POWERFUL BADASSES WHO WASH THE BLOOD OF THEIR ENEMIES OUT OF THEIR CLOTHES AT THE END OF THE DAY LIKE ITS NOTHING

YO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THAT THING

THAT IS A DREAM COME TRUE BUT ALSO A NIGHTMARE LIKE

THIS IS ME JUST BEFORE WENT OUT THE WHOLE DAY

HELL YEAH I FELT HELLA CUTE AND POWERFUL RIGHT THIS IS THE POWER RED LIPSTICK HAS ON ME

WELL LATER I RETURN HOME AND CHANGE GLASSES AND WOWIE IT’S STILL THERE AWESOME

THEN JUST FOR SCIENCE I DECIDED TO SLEEP WITH IT OKAY

I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY LIKE THIS

AND THEN AGAIN FOR SCIENCE, I DIDN’T RUB IT OFF AT THE SHOWER JUST TO SEE IF IT WAS WATERPROOF TOO AND

I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG WOULD THAT HAVE LASTED IF I DIDN’T TAKE IT OFF AFTER THAT PHOTO BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS MUST BE MADE OF THE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES I ACCEPT NO OTHER EXPLANATION

(via thechosenone305)

stephrc79:

boopboopbi:

uss-special:

talonsandwings:

mischiefforhire:

black-nata:

v-p-potts:

You know, I think spending over a decade of your life with either Clint Barton OR Tony Stark will wear your face down into the same default expression.

thefuckisthisshit.gif

…I know that look.

image

i need a movie that’s just pepper and nat and loki having a night on the town being sassy bitches and swapping war stories about their ridiculous pet superheroes

ridiculous pet superheroes

Did someone say ridiculous pet superheroes? You’ve got to go a long way to beat Bucky ‘This is the worst idea ever, Steve’ Barnes.

It just keeps getting better.

(via mori-sempai)

headuplovely:

robotrockers:

I’ve got a friend and they mean a lot to me.

This applies to all of you lovelies. We’ll be here for you no matter what! :)

(Source: princegumbutt, via christianborle)

abchannahxyz:

tastefullyoffensive:

After stewing in his emotions, emo veg comes to the conclusion that the root of the world’s problems is that people don’t seem to carrot all.

[obvincognito/tabizine]

This is single handedly the best fucking pun joke I’ve ever seen on this damn website.

(via thechosenone305)

ask-curtisrx:

porqueeucrieiisso:

carriehopefletcher:

lolzpicx:

BOOP!

This made me laugh very much!

THE WHALE!!!!!

Love it!!!

This post is very important to me

(Source: unamusedsloth, via sharonathepotato)

tazzygal:

godotal:

It’s not the fact it exists, but that two stakes are missing

…some stories are best left unspoken. This one is going to drive me crazy, though….

(via sharonathepotato)

«Matt and David are much younger than me, much more handsome, and that’s what people have decided they want to take from it. I don’t think that will be happening for me. I don’t expect to be anyone’s heart-throb»(x)

(Source: geronimoriver, via marvel-verse)

thatguynamedvince:

bilbobaggingyourmom:

that’s just unnecessary :(

fuck that key man

Hi, I’m Chris Pratt and I’m hosting the Season Premiere of Saturday Night Live

(Source: chrisprattsource, via henricavyll)

kingtrinbago:

The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

(via someonestolemycoffee)

edorazzi:

well it’s about time fred got some character development

(via mira-of-sassgard)